I spent some time with Mom today and I will say that she was doing better than usual from a lucidity standpoint. She and I talked and had several good conversations, all with her making pretty good sense. Was she normal? No, but it was much improved over Monday.

This might just be one of those "good days" that you get every once in a while dealing with this situation. It's hard to say.

We are still planning on starting the new chemotherapy on Monday, March 1st. Mom reiterated to me today that she still wants to do that, provided it doesn't make her feel miserable. She agreed with me that we would just have to wait and see how it goes.

I can't imagine what it must be like knowing that you want to say something, having a thought or idea, and not being able to articulate it. Mom experiences that to some degree every day. I believe that the ideas and thoughts are in there, and I (and Dad) just have to work some to get them out.

Well, "good day" or not, we'll take it.

Small Change in Plans

Mom wasn't doing well at all last night and this morning, from a mental/lucidity point of view, so Dad and I spoke with the doctor's office and we all agreed that the best course of action was to let Mom rest some more and start the new chemotherapy treatment on Monday, March 1.

No one is sure at the moment if this is a permanent change in her mental capacity, or if this was something brought on by the stress of the situation yesterday. We will keep an eye on things to make that determination.

Progress Report

Mom, Dad, and I went to see Dr. Aurora today to get the results of the MRI and CT scans that were done last week. This was in preparation for chemotherapy treatment today.

Dr. Aurora reviewed the results with us, and they were mixed. The cancer in her lung and liver has "stabilized", meaning that it has not grown. It has not shrunk, either, as hoped for by the doctor.

The cancer in the bones has increased significantly since the last scans were done, at the outset of the treatment in November.

The net result of this is that Dr. Aurora is recommending a change in chemotherapy drugs. He is recommending Taxotere now. He says that this drug will better combat the disease in the bone as well as continue to combat the disease in the lungs and liver.

Regarding the brain involvement, the MRI still shows lesions in the brain, but the comparison between the initial MRI done in November and this one has not been completed yet. So it is unclear as to the amount of effectiveness of the radiation treatment.

We also had a very frank conversation with the doctor regarding quality of life versus quantity of life. He was very straightfoward with Mom this time and told her that there was no cure for her condition and that all they could do is "knock it back" for a period of time.

He wanted to make sure she (and Dad and I) understood. We do.

So, at this point, Mom is still interested in getting treatment. She is, however, thinking about the ramifications of that decision. For the first time since all of this started, we briefly discussed what might be the result of stopping treatment. A great deal depends on how well Mom tolerates this new drug. That is unknown, of course.

For now, we will go back to the office tomorrow and get the new drug started. Where that will take us remains to be seen.

We appreciate everyone's thoughts and support.

Mom is having a pretty good day today. I am over here "mom-sitting" while Dad goes to his doctor's appointment.

She is pretty alert and spending time watching curling at the Olympics.

She also had a good lunch today and tells me that she is feeling pretty good.

That's nice after the day she had yesterday. I think some of the medications she received while getting her scans on Monday had an effect on her. She did not feel well yesterday at all.

But today seems to be better. So we'll take that.

Just a very short note to let everyone know that the MRI and CT scans were completed today without any issues.

We do not yet know the results and may not know until we go and visit the oncologist next Monday.

Mom continues to hang in there, resting and doing the best that she can.

Not much has changed in the four days since I've updated the blog. Mom is still hanging tough and doing the best she can.

She has good days and not so good days, from a mental point of view.

Physically, she is slowly getting stronger and is getting around pretty well.

This weekend, she is being visited by her mother, sister, brother, and sister-in-law. I know that Mom is happy to have them come visit and enjoying the time with them.

Coming up on Monday is a CAT scan and MRI at the hospital. These are routing screenings that her oncologist wants to have performed in order to gauge her progress. I hope that we will have encouraging news to report on the state of the cancer.

People continue to bring food by the house, and it is very much appreciated. You folks at the Service Center are really amazing. Thank you.

The Tired's

Mom is fighting the "tired's" right now, but she's resting and working on getting built back up after the third chemotherapy treatment. It appears that maybe the side-effects are cumulative as this bout with fatigue seems to be worse than the prior two.

She is not eating as much as before but still is maintaining her weight. She has had some nausea after this treatment (see cumulative effects above) and she has mentioned to me that she is afraid sometimes to eat because she doesn't want to get sick. Dad and I have talked with her about this and over the past couple of days, there has been an improvement. She ate a little more and hasn't had any nausea to speak of.

We are scheduling a brain MRI and upper body CAT scans for next week sometime. Dr. Aurora (her oncologist) wants to do those now, instead of after the fourth chemotherapy treatment. Hopefully, the results will be positive. We'll just have to wait and see.

For everyone that continues to help out and support Mom and Dad, we say thank you.

Working Through

Mom is hanging in okay after the third chemotherapy treatment. I think the side effects are beginning to accumulate. She's still extremely tired and her appetite is suffering a bit, now. But, she eats when she feels like it. It's just that she doesn't feel like it very often.

Her physical strength continues to improve. Pretty soon, she'll probably be able to outrun my Dad.

For now, it's just rest, rest, rest.

A Frank Discussion

Mom, Dad, and I spent a good deal of time this morning speaking with Dr. Aurora (Mom's oncologist) about her concentration and memory loss issues. Mom wanted to make sure that he knew how upsetting this was for her and how much of an issue it has turned into.

Dr. Aurora listened closely and then made some points. He said that the confusion and short-term memory loss were caused by three things:

1. The brain metastases that Mom has
2. The radiation treatment that Mom received to combat the above
3. The chemotherapy that she is receiving know. This is commonly referred to as "chemo brain". It's a foggy condition that most people have when undergoing chemotherapy.

He then went on to reassure Mom that she was getting everything that she was supposed to get and getting it on time. He made a very clear point that the treatment that Mom is receiving is designed to do two things (in order):

1. Keep Mom alive
2. Hopefully help her feel better

Now, when Mom heard point one about keeping her alive, she jumped to the conclusion that she had been very near death at the beginning of this whole ordeal. That is not the case, but Mom thought it was, and therefore spent most of her time in chemo today very tense and upset.

Dr. Aurora also said that we would do a CAT scan and an MRI after this third treatment to gauge the treatment's effectiveness.

He did say to Mom, "I am very optimistic that the treatment you have received has made a difference with the cancer. Now, we need some pictures so I can show you that."

So we will get those scheduled.

That said, the chemo treatment itself was uneventful and went as it should have. After getting Mom back home, she began to calm down and understand just what was going on with what Dr. Aurora said.

As many of you know, Mom's desire when it comes to speaking with the doctor is, "I want to know, but I don't really want to know."

Today was the most frank discussion that she has ever had with Dr. Aurora and it affected her quite a bit. She mentioned that hearing those things caused her to really think about her situation more and come to some realizations about her condition.

It was, however, a good discussion with the doctor and one that I know Mom would have wanted to have had she been completely together mentally. So, I don't regret at all that it was discussed.

Tomorrow, we go back to the office for a white blood cell booster. Maybe by then the appointments for the scans will have been made.